“Haza Ana” | June 7th 2006
Ana nafsi,
Ana man akoun.
I am myself.
I am who I am.
It’s strange because they pretend that they accept me for who I am, when really, they’re the same people who tell me to “shush” when I get a little louder than what’s “accepted” or when I say something that they don’t like.
I’m surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I’m surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I’m surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one who noticed?
Can I have everyone’s attention please?
If you’re not like this and that, you’re going to have to leave.
~I Don’t Want to Be, Gavin DeGraw
I can’t stand any of you anymore. I can’t stand the way your lips come together to tell me to “be quiet”. I can’t stand you anymore. And you, yes, you, the person who thinks understands me, you don’t. You don’t know me at all.
Have I ever mentioned how I hate being like this? Well if I haven’t, here I am telling you now. I hate being so frustrated and full of rage.
Ana 3aysha l nafsi, w mesh 3ayza 7ad ye2oli a3eesh ezzay. Mesh tay2a the fact that people think they can fix me. W kaman, i’m frustrated 3ashan f wa7ed ebn kalb stuck in my head and I can’t shake him loose. Bakhrao, bakraho awy. Sha2lebli kayani. Ana 3omri ma kont kedda. I was the girl who laughed and smiled all the time. Delwa2ti ba2eit wa7da nekadeya, bad7ak bas mingheir e7ssas, babtesem ebtesama mayeta. Yemken ommi kan 3andaha 7a2, yemken ana etghayart, yemken ba2eit “wa7da la totaq”. I can only blame you and you can only blame me.
Hey, don’t write yourself off yet
It’s only in your head you feel left out
Or looked down on
Just try your best, try everything you can.
And don’t you worry what their bitter hearts are going to say.
~The Middle, Jimmy Eat World
Time to sign off. Till next time world.
Ta ta for now.