Big Girls Don’t Cry | September 20th 2005
They have no f**king idea how lucky they are. NO idea i tell you. I hate every single one of them…I feel like such a child thinking this way, but i can’t help it. It’s not fair, it’s not f**king fair!!!
And to make matters worse, i’m getting a hard time at home because of “him” my mom can’t stand him so she’s making my life a living hell…everything changed and i just feel like jumping out the window! I’m human afterall, i can’t stand all of this pressure, i can’t, i can’t, I CAN’T!!! What does she want me to do? She wants me to end it all, that’s what she wants me to do, that’ll get her cooled down and back to her “normal” self…but i can’t, and i WON’T!! It’s my damn life!
I still can’t believe i cried in public, TWICE!! What the hell’s wrong with me?! Oh, wait, i know what’s wrong…i know. I can’t stand the pressure, i can’t stand it anymore. I don’t even know what i’m writing!! I’m probably going to look back at this and realise things weren’t worth getting worked up about, or that things were better off and things got worse. What am i saying..what am i doing?!
I’m so depressed…o no, i’m going to start crying now; definatly not good a good sign; i’m in the library, i can’t start crying! People are going to start looking and they’re going to ask me what’s wrong; what am i going to say?! Ok, i put on my sunglasses; now i look like a moron! I’m in the library, away from the sun and with my sunglasses on…i’d rather look like a moron than let ppl see me cry. Because i don’t cry in public..(too late.)
I need a hug. I need a long hug, I need a hero; someone to save me from the abyss i’m falling into…I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do and it’s killing me inside!
You know what, i think i found a solution! I’ll dry my eyes, get out of the library, go to class and most importantly put a smile on my face. That’s how i fix my problems, just smile like nothing’s killing me inside; i won’t complain and most importantly, I WON’T CRY. Because…
Big girls don’t cry (they don’t cry) - Frankie Valli
Till next time World…
Ta ta for now :*